Self-care for Parents

Strategies for building resilience when navigating high-demand parenting

You already know this:

The better you feel, the better you can handle whatever life sends your way.

And, yet, when we are talking about parenting children with complex needs, it feels practically a must to ignore your own needs. Day to day, you find yourself struggling to juggle ALL the things - family, home, school, finances, work, appointments, and more. Phew, just typing that feels exhausting!

However, unless you also prioritize your own well-being somewhere in your routine, stress and overwhelm can quickly highjack your nervous system.  When this happens, it makes the juggling act a much harder and messier thing. We end up putting ourselves into all sorts of self-defeating scenarios.

“Self care is giving the world the best of you instead of what is left of you.”

- Katie Reed

So, how can we be intentional about self care?  Here are a few simple strategies:

1. First, give yourself permission. And, while you’re at it, communicating your self-care values/goals to loved ones can help you honor that intention. It’s okay to start small.

   
   

2. Build self-awareness. There are many ways of going about this. Some options are journaling, personality tools like the Enneagram, values-based exercises, and mindfulness techniques. These can be hugely helpful in deciding where to focus your attention when demands pile up. Use what feels helpful to you.

   
   

3. Move your body. No need to run a 5k for this to count. Getting outside for a walk, dancing with the kids, swimming, yoga, and home workouts (there are lots of free resources) are great options. Simply getting your heart pumping for 10-15 minutes can greatly improve your energy, your decision-making and your mood. Choose something practical that you want to keep coming back to.

   
   

4.  Ask for help. Easier said than done, but don’t let fear or shame get in your way. Being specific in your ask (what you need, when, for how long) helps others feel good about saying “yes.” Aside from local (and willing) family or friends, building a network of support is crucial. Seek out support groups, other parents with relatable struggles, faith communities, and allies (therapists, advocates, etc).

   
   

5. Make space for joy. Remember your passions. Tune in to what makes you feel alive and hopeful. Making art, baking, music, hiking, comedy, helping others - the sky is the limit!  Find ways to build these life-giving activities into your schedule as often as possible.

Okay, so maybe that was more than a few methods. Choose just one or two manageable strategies to try out first. These shouldn’t feel like just one more thing to try and fail at. Instead, if you add one in (give it a week or two) and notice you feel a bit more emotionally regulated, resilient and capable of handling the demands of life, you’ll know its so worth it. Wishing you the best!

If all of this sounds overwhelming, please reach out for resources and support! I’m here to help.